he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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