Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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