Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
