ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
