So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize