I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
