I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
