I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Ladies don't puke and tell
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
