Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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