This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
