I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
