you guys were way drunker than both of me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
