Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
