Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
