If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
