I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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