Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
