This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
