He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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