I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
