I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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