All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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