...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
