Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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