I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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