it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Enjoy the penises
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
