I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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