not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
