I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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