Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
