I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
