I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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