Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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