Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
