I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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