you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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