stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Randomize
