Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
