you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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