We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
