my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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