Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
