Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i will never coherently bang her
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
