I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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