Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
