In the future we'll all be gay
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
