So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
