i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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