i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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