i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize