Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
