The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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