let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
nutella sex= disaster
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
