I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
