i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I cut my penus on the lid.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
