Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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