kristin has been a bad kristin
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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