Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
