You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
