FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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