I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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